第一名平和2年级Marvin 

第二名平和4年级Chloe，

       惠立5年级Simon

第三名平和5年级Nicole，

     上中3年级David

为了更好的展示我们的学员的写作水平，我们将展示奖项获得者：Marvin，Chloe，Nicole的文章，供大家研习。并在每篇文章的末端附上我们爵学教研组Cheyenne老师的点评。

How are you，Mother Earth?

In this period, the world has been darkened by a word, well I’d better say it’s a virus-the virus of nCOV-19. Millions have been infected，and thousands are dead. The world’s history will be changed. And long live the doctors that are on the front line right now. God bless you.

First, let’s look at the origins and timeline of the virus. The first victim was infected after going to the Huanan Seafood Market in Wuhan on December 8th. But that only is the most popular saying. Some people say that somebody caught the virus in the United States as early as October! But that’s just a rumor. On the thirtieth of December, the first nurse/doctor caught the virus. On the 13th of January, a Wuhan tourist in Thailand was infected, making the tourist the first to catch the virus out of China. On the 21st of January, the first victim in the USA was infected, making him also the first victim in North America.  Timeline slipped to 23rd of January, all transportation services leading to Wuhan are canceled. On the 5th of February, 3500 tourists are socially distanced, and by the 5th of March, 696 tourists have been infected. On the same day of March 13th, Suriname and eight other countries have their first victims on the same day. Sweden also gives up on counting the countries’ victims. By the 21st of April, victims in the whole world have reached around 2470000 and victims who have died have reached around 170000. (Source from John Hopkins University).

The last paragraph was written for fact trackers just like me (sorry to those who thought they had wasted their time reading this 200-word timeline), but this paragraph is about a thing that everybody wants to know—what’s nCOV-19?

The nCOV-19 is shaped like a dumbbell (the ones muscular guys raise at the gym) under a microscope. It had a father and son relationship with the SARS virus in 2003. Dumbbell shaped viruses usually have 2 DNAs，which means it can’t make itself into a better version. To make it clear, I will explain. A virus making itself more advanced means making its spread quicker and making it deadlier. An xxx virus may advance itself by killing more people and spreading more widely. Let’s now talk about how to keep ourselves safe. We are walking into the unknown, and vaccines for the virus have not been invented, so the best solution for us is to stay safe and give more time for the scientists. Here are a few tips: 1. Stay at home unless it’s an emergency. 2.Wear a face mask whenever you go outside. 3. Wash your hands after you go outside.

Thirdly, let’s look at how we can overturn this virus. It’s not only your country that’s fighting the virus. It’s the continent your living in that’s fighting. It’s the whole world that’s fighting. From the poorest farmers to the wealthiest billionaires, everybody is trying to help. The poor island country of Comoros only gave 100 Euro to help China, but we should realize they are being a global citizen. We must be a whole family and fight the virus together. Be a global citizen. Try to give a piece of your heart to the doctors. Cooperate, and we will overcome.

This paragraph talks mostly about normal people in the city. Let’s start. Have you ever thought what would happen if the whole city slid into complete silence? The supermarket has no cashier，and people go in like waves, crushing each other. What if you called pizza and a knife to your house and never got a reply? In the risk of dying, the most often seen deliverymen are now still working for us. They should also be respected by our citizens. To give them a heart back, we set up a little free supermarket in front of every remarkable office. Le Tao cake, Lady M, and Hey Tea all sponsored to give away some of their products for free to those brave workers. People at these offices also gave biscuits, drinks, and snacks at noon. Remember those brave workers. For my family, I say thank you.

Finally, we’re going to talk about our personal feelings about staying at home. Here’s a poem that I wrote:

Staying at home

As I woke up with a sigh, another day begins.

I stare out of the window, thinking, what another gloomy day.

After breakfast, lessons next.

Hours and hours of screen time glimmer my eyes

Finally, finally, the lessons end.

After homework, I have my lunch.

Oh yes! We can have some fun.

After b-ball, lessons again.

Hopefully this time only one.

Then we go out for a walk.

Bicycles, bicycles until 4 pm.

Wondering with a face mask on.

Dinner now, how delicious.

It’s now soccer time with dad.

Learn, learn now 8 o’clock.

It’s now free reading time for both of us.

Oh my, oh my, that’s what I call a day.

I know those whose families have died.

They want such a day from the deep sorrow.

Yes, I know, it’s very sad.

Salute, salute, salute to you.

Cheyenne老师点评：文章构思新颖，层次逻辑清晰，论证方式多样化并且论据充分，诗歌引人深思，语言传递有力度。文章中逗号的使用，不定冠词和序数词的应用要更仔细些。

How Are You, Earth?

A large number of humans have been sick or died recently since the COVID-19 spreads all over the world. I had an image in my head that Mother Earth wearing patient clothes but putting on a little smile of relief. It seemed that you have found your own way to ease the burden. For us humans, we should work on more efforts to the environment of Mother Earth where we live.

As the coronavirus sweeps across the planet, international transportations have been shut shown much of all countries, which caused an overwhelmingly bleak to the air and sea transport services. Certainly, it will infect the international trades and investments, and a sharply decline is predictable. Sick people have to be isolated while others have to stay at home and less out, which causing increasingly sever harm to communities across the globe. Mother Earth, it is a new chance that your human child starts to have a new thinking.

Apart from the severe impacts to human being, the impacts of human activities on the destruction of environment have been minimized. The consumption of nature resources has decreased especially the burning of fossil fuels due to the reduce of transportations. Less polluted smokes were released into the air from the factories, and less contaminated water was outflowed to the rivers and seas. Even the massive wildfires may have a more quiet and relaxed time without the disturbing of human beings. After so many days of people remaining indoors, the air got fresher while lakes and rivers were cleaner than passed months. It made me wonder that the novel coronavirus could be a warning sent by you, Mother Earth. Warning us to protect the environment and learn to get along well with animal, especially with wildlife.

 With the extinction of rare species, the deterioration of living environment and the signs of global warming, human beings have begun to realize the importance of environmental protection, and relevant laws have also been issued. Then we need to think more about how to better implement. I suggest that it should be introduced into school education as a special and regular course. Let children form a sense of environmental protection from childhood. From consciousness to practice, we believe that the effect will be better from generation to generation. A lesson has been learned from SARS in 2002, the virus appeared to have originated in animals and “jumped” to humans for the first time. It is clear that the virus may have an animal reservoir, where it does not normally cause disease, but viruses can spill over from the host to animals and humans. If we can have awe of nature and keep distance from wild animals, maybe the corona virus will not come, at least it will not come so violently.

It's a long way to go to protect the environment and get along better with the earth and the living things on the earth. We can't stop thinking about better ways, and we have to take better measures. This is something we need to think about. It's time for us to give back to our mother earth.

Cheyenne老师点评：用语形象画面感强，句式表达应用丰富，用词贴切，能有效应用原因论证支持论点，结尾有呼吁感。文章中表达并列信息，以及因果关系的衔接词要明确表示出来。

How Are You, Earth?

Hi, mother Earth,

Recently, the Novel Coronavirus pneumonia is making us sick. Except deep anxiety, I feel like this is kind of revenge from you. For centuries, we’ve been polluting the environment on you. We pollute the atmosphere by putting poisonous gases into the sky. We pollute the land by burying trash under it, making it harder for plants to grow. We pollute the forest by cutting down trees and bushes. We destroy almost everything from you, mother Earth. So, this epidemic is the revenge. The revenge from you and all the living things on Earth.

The start of this epidemic is from bats. Bats have a great many of viruses on them, but their strong immunity systems block them away. However, human can’t adapt it. There is a saying, “Bats are trying their best not to look like some kind of food, but Wuhan people still want to eat them. And that’s the start of NCP.”

Many of us said that the start of 2020 is horrible, the fire in Australia, which make a large number of wild animals die, and the ones who stay are having trouble finding food because of the destroy of plants in the fire. The plague of locusts bites down everything in Asia, yet no methods how to kill large quantities of them, is coming all the way from East Africa to East Europe. The new flu appearing in the US are spreading, till now there are 26,000,000 people infected, and 14,000 people died, it’s now the most serious flu ever had in America. Also, the Lassa Virus has been killing over 14% of the patients in Nigeria, that’s an incredibly terrible number!

But the reasons that cause those viruses are:

1.With global warming, many of the ancient viruses that came from the frozen earth have escaped.

2.With economic globalization, the viruses are more likely to spread to other areas, and form more trouble.

3.The development of human must have break the life circle, that’s when viruses break in.

So human start all of this. If we didn’t do this to you, mother Earth, the world will be a peaceful place. It’s time for us to wake up, because destroying you is the same as destroying us human!

Cheyenne老师点评：文章有条理，能合理分析原因，引用并予以数据支持，标点符号使用灵活。文章用的虚拟语气的正确使用，过去分词的应用，以及主谓一致的问题需要加强。